I learned that the day doesn’t end when the bell rings: what happens after school — whether you go straight home, who meets you and what rules are there — moulded me as much as lessons did. I want kids in care and parents to know those hours matter, because I went through foster care, came back to a regimented home and watched many people I grew up with take different paths.
What shaped me after the bell
I remember being good in school, but finding myself being naughty outside school. That gap — between how you behave in class and what you do when the day’s over — told me a lot about influence and choices.
A lot of what shapes us isn’t the classroom. It’s what happens when we leave school: who we go home to, who’s there to meet us, and what sort of routines or freedoms we fall into.
Kids in homes — why I’m talking to you
I want to reach out to kids in these homes because I’ve been there in some way and I’ve done homework on it. Statistically things might still be the same, and I know I might have been one of the fortunate ones.
I grew up with some of the same people from housing estates and I’ve seen different life journeys. That’s why I bring this up — to say what shapes us after those events matters.
A note to parents and carers
When kids come back from school, who’s there? I know times have changed — fewer people at home, different work situations — but I’m talking from serious experience and from people I’ve grown with.
Parents and carers matter. The discipline and routines my dad brought when I came back from being in foster care shaped me. I’m not pretending I’ve got all the answers, but I’m saying this is important.
Where I’m coming from
I’ve mentioned my mum and my dad a lot because they were influences. My dad was strict — regimented about discipline — and that fed into how I turned out once I returned home.
So when I talk about these things, it’s grounded in my own story and the people I grew up with. Did you understand what I’m saying to you? That question’s in there because I really want you to hear it.
Adapted from my video with AI assistance. The video is the original account.
Read the video transcript +
Yeah, so basically anyway, so these are the influences. Basically, the topic is that some of them kids that went to school, I remember I was good in school, started finding myself being naughty outside school. That's the relevancy of what I was just trying to say. And then with the kids in these homes as well, and I'd like to try and reach out to you because remember, I'm at a different age, but I know, as I said, I've done a few homework statistically, things are still the same, innit? And remember I'm saying I might have been one of the fortunate ones. Yeah, I was fortunate as well because I come from good ones, but I'm saying what shapes us after them events, innit? So we leave school, are we going straight home? And this is why I'm trying to address the kids today and the parents today because see when you see your kids and they come from school, and I know it's changed today, there's not many maybe women working, staying at home working and the dad's not available. But remember, I'm talking from some serious experience, but also I know a lot of people that has lived it as well. So I've seen their life journey and I've seen different stages and the ones that so-called ones, as I said, again, they talk about the ones that come from housing estates and as I said again, a lot of my peers and the people I've grown with, we come from houses. Yeah, as I've named a few of my bridges, one in particular, I spent a lot of time with him and dad worked their whole life. Yeah, there's that shaping us and they come out of a house. Did you understand what I'm saying to you? So what is shaping our decisions as a young generation? And then back to my influences again, because I talked a lot about my mom as well and my dad. You know me, I'm talking about my dad. Even though he came here, he was in my life because I'm born, he brought me into the world with my mom, but even though I went through my little scenarios, children, I'm foster care. When I did come back, which I'm coming home soon, he was strict, regiment and everything to do with discipline. Yeah, 100%.
